ailism

I breathe writing yet fail every time when I have to write about myself. I have wandered on and off the streets of different countries, squatted, loved, lost, loved and lost, loved and won, still in love with love!, is there winning in losing?, I've met my soulmates and unfortunately have buried some of them, I have known pain, I have known despair, I have survived it. I know there's always something to lose, even when it doesn't seem so.

I believe in the goodness of people even after I have seen the ugliness of some.

How do we find each other? Us, people. How?
Everything seems like a giant circle and the thing with circles is that once in the ring - You keep spinning.
There's no winners or losers after all, there's only spinners, spinning madly on and on.

I believe everything is possible but the definition of "everything is possible" is varied.

And it really is amazing! How many years! Oh all the different ways! Mornings in pure anxiety and nights lost to oblivion.
None of it seemed to work.
And all I needed was..those years, those different ways, those nights and mornings.
So let alone be them! Them, the people. One won't find out anything by standing still and that is open to a lot of interpretation.

Something more concrete?

I really like to read and write, play guitar, sing, watch (anything! everything! anyone! everyone!), learn and study (have a diploma in social work, now doing one in nursing), work where I like (I currently work at the emergency room in a hospital) even when it doesn't pay much, travel (hitchhiker, but not always), listen, ... oh I am bad at lists and with trying to frame myself. I am a vegetarian but I think it's a matter of choice, so I never "lecture" other people about it (only if they want to). Painting is fun (I am bad it, but it doesn't take away the FUN part).

Trust me, positive things always outweigh the negative ones.
Or at least, they eventually will.

Even when You have that weird restlessness inside of You and You want to throw everything away and just hit the road.
Happy are those who have something to come back to.
Even happier who have a reason to stay.